ISSUE ELEVEN | FALL 2018
Sometimes this develops later in life. I can’t say I’m surprised, considering.
The diet should help. You work too much. Have you considered quitting your job?
Oh right
health insurance.
I hate to tell you this: there’s no cure, exactly.
I hate to tell you this: there’s very little research. It’s written off as a kind of
hysteria.
Did they send you to a gynecologist before they sent you to me?
First your stomach, then your brain. Or feelings. Stress. Which of course it is.
But also.
Let’s not confuse common
with normal.
Listen. This isn’t going to be pretty. It’s not likely to go away. I would make peace with
not living
like other people. I know it’s hard but consider quitting your job.
I’ll prescribe you something.
*
when love
& purpose
suddenly shed themselves
disappearing into a small point
on the tip of your eye
take this, & you will be able
to go in to work.
days when some small god
tugs on an optic nerve out of boredom
your belly coils thick
lose vision
balance
appetite
pain blossoms
dyspepsia
tip of your skull
over your face
top of your navel
slow
black
shroud
when some fate betrayed
roils down with the rain
braids the past back
into your organs with crochet needles
reminds you
you are only
the white wince
you are only white wince
you will only ever be
this white wince
on those days
take this.
Go to work.
*
Will she speak again?
When she’s ready. You have to understand
that kid’s got big hurts.
From what?
Why don’t you tell me?
What are you suggesting?
She must be abnormal? Fix her.
*
you’re not sick. you’re sensitive.
it’s good to be sensitive. it means you’re feeling
your way
through
the world.
you have feeling
you can trust
in your intestine
feeling you can trust
in your temples
behind your eye
in your belly.
everything does hurt.
everything is lonely.
your body is telling you things
for a reason.
your body is not built
to lie.
Ashna Ali is a Brooklyn-based poet, researcher, and educator. Their poetry has appeared in Bone Bouquet, HeART Online, femmescapes, and The Felt, and they have academic work published or forthcoming in Gender Sexuality Italia, Global South, Journal of Narrative Theory, and MAI Feminism and Visual Culture. They are a doctoral candidate of Comparative Literature at The Graduate Center, CUNY, and they teach Literature at Queens College and Food and Film at The New School.
DO YOU LOVE NAT. BRUT?
If you enjoy Nat. Brut and consider yourself a reader of the magazine, please consider donating to us! We are a fledgling non-profit on a shoe-string budget, and our staff is 100% volunteer (all of us!). Every dollar you give goes directly back into the operations of the magazine. Consider giving today!