ISSUE ELEVEN | FALL 2018
if everyone else is going to die this year can i
dig and dig and dig a patch keeps forming i can
peel off followed by some sort of discharge
enough now i beg you stop wanting stop trying
stop making noise another therapist and this one
tells me to name what i am to use my voice not
the blood under my nails her handwriting looks like
my mother's and i am determined to forgive her
for caring about me as much as you care about
any job the universe sends your way more noise
more trying more digging maybe next week
i will tell her i can't do this anymore because
it's hard to even want to survive a certain kind
of healing when instead there is pus and skin
scar tissue the dull ache of touching of being
touched when i know i can master self-removal
Lauren Bender is a queer poet living in Burlington, VT with her wife and rudely adorable gray cat. Her work has appeared in such places as IDK Magazine, The Collapsar, Gyroscope Review, Pittsburgh Poetry Review, and Yes Poetry and has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. You can find her on twitter @benderpoet.
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